The Shape of My Heart
by TheMusicLives
Summary: From the smiles, to the tone of her voice, to her body language it was clear that she'd been blatantly flirting with him. He was even more determined to crack her facade. CB, Post 202, no spoilers!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Yeah, I know... not an "If Only" update. I'm blocked because the new episodes put all kinds of ideas in my head... so I've brought you this to clear my brain. This is spoiler free. Takes place at the end of this week's episode, Never Been Marcused.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass or Blair Waldorf... I just like to put words in their mouths and knock sense into their stubborn heads.**

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The Shape of My Heart

(Part I)

* * *

Chuck was standing in the kitchen when he heard his step-sister's trademark giggle and he knew that she not alone. Closing the refrigerator door, he turned toward the approaching pair of nightgown clad girls, prepared to leave. He really didn't need a stand off with Blair tonight and by focusing on Serena's face he hoped he could make a quick escape.

It was Blair's voice requesting a second to speak with him that drew his eyes to her and his suspicions were immediately confirmed; looking at her was a mistake. Even in sleep wear, she was a brunette goddess in satin. The pale blue fabric accented her summer tan, bunching underneath her breasts, and he could practically feel how the material would slide against his fingers if he removed it. Like an intensely vivid dream that could only be a premonition of something to come.

So real a vision that his eyes couldn't tear themselves from Blair's, at least not until Serena pulled the glass of orange juice he'd just poured from his hands and excused herself.

He attempted to regain his mental footing, knowing that this conversation was probably about his sabotage of her 'relationship,' and approached Blair where she now stood against the counter. After forcing his heart to keep calm and his eyes to meet her doe-eyed gaze, he asked cockily, "Did you enjoy meeting Duchess Beaton?"

"I did." The satisfied smile on her face would've jump-started his pulse again, but the sugar sweet tone to her voice caused his blood to run cold.

Somehow something in his meticulous planning must have gone wrong.

Confusion regrettably colored his voice as he questioned what he already knew; "That's not sarcasm in your voice, it's..."

"Victory," she finished his thought and shrugged her shoulders with a smile, "I know." Blair's innocent act dropped as she continued, "Your plan to ruin me totally backfired. Turns out Marcus's mommy is even sicker than you are." That gloating smirk was back on her pink tinged lips as she insulted him and he couldn't help but fight a smile himself. She was so proud for outwitting him and he strangely was too.

The awe he felt for her ability to thwart him bled into his voiced reply: "You got along great."

"I think she recognized part of herself in me... or rather I recognized someone in her."

He shook his head, "I don't follow." Now he was confused again; what was she doing to him? Obviously she had information that he didn't. And why did knowing that she was capable of out-witting him make her even more desirable?

"All you need to know is that you lost," her words were firm and clear, but her expression was not. Especially when she added, "But don't be too hard on yourself... it was a solid effort," with a tone to her voice that he'd only heard a few times.

Mostly she used it when she was challenging him... especially when there would be a reward for meeting said challenge.

"Tomorrow's another day," he replied, trying to keep excitement about any rewards from his expression, only a small smile slipping through.

To his surprise she met his smile with one of her own and whispered sultrily, "Goodnight, Chuck."

Her eyes stayed on his as she began to walk backwards and she only turned after he reciprocated, "Night, Blair."

The cut of her nightgown left her back bare to his gaze and he knew that the piece of clothing had been chosen for him. Chuck watched her as she slowly made her exit from his family's kitchen and caught the coy smile she threw over her shoulder while twisting her hair. She was toying with him and thoroughly enjoying that he was as wrapped around her manicured finger as that lock of hair was.

Shaking his head at himself, trying to break the spell that she'd put him under just now, he stared in her direction long after she'd disappeared. The whole conversation was a little unnerving, now that he thought about it. Wasn't she supposed to be throwing herself at Marcus? The Blair that just left him wasn't acting like a devoted girlfriend; he knew she would be faithful if this was a situation she was taking seriously.

From the smiles, to the tone of her voice, to her body language it was clear that she'd been blatantly flirting with him. It was extremely sexy knowing that she was still attracted to him, too.

Gone were the manipulations, venomous insults and ultimatums she'd hidden behind since returning from France... Where did her resolve from last night go?

Did she think he'd back off now that she had sufficiently put him in his place? Or that he wouldn't make any plays for her with a doting boyfriend at her side?

Either way, she was wrong. If anything, he was even more determined to crack her facade. Once he could prove to her that they were the same, that they belonged together, there would be no separating them.

He was sure of it.

Heaving a sigh, he followed the hall she'd walked down, making a detour to pass Serena's bedroom door before heading to his own. Once the entrance to his step-sister's room was in view, however, he spotted the brunette that occupied his thoughts. She was standing outside her friend's door, hand on the knob to open it, but seemingly unable to turn it.

* * *

Blair was still trying to catch her breath.

Outside of Serena's door, her heart pounding in her chest from the restraint she'd struggled to maintain around Chuck, breathing deeply was all she could do. His face had been so close, his lips so inviting, his voice so low and sexy that it had caused her pain to keep up her act.

She should be congratulating herself on a job well done, but all she could think about was how close she'd come to giving it all up for one kiss from him.

Too bad just one wouldn't cure her, though.

What was sad about the whole situation was how the mere _thought_ of a kiss from him got her more riled up than fifty actual ones from Marcus. A terrible shame, yet one that made perfect sense. She felt nothing but idol-worship for Marcus; Chuck had embedded himself in her blood.

He could have had her yesterday if he'd just told her what she already knew; she wished he'd just complied. If he'd confessed his feelings, right now she would be...

No.

She couldn't be thinking in 'if's' right now; not when she'd allowed her triumph to make her cocky enough to face him and _flirt._ That had been stupid of her and she'd been lucky enough to escape.

Now all she had to do was calm herself enough to face her best friend without giving the plot away.

Another deep breath was interrupted by question in a deeper voice, "Waiting for something?" She couldn't stop the gasp from her lips at the throaty question. "The night isn't getting any younger."

Taking a deep breath, she didn't lift her eyes from the doorknob to ask, "Would you believe the door is locked?" The lie was so bad that she couldn't look at him; he would see right through her as it is.

His voice grew louder as his steps brought him closer, "I don't believe that my sister would do that, knowing that you were going to follow her." The feel of warm breath on her bare shoulder made her shiver slightly. "Unless..." his voice trailed off before driving his point home, "Unless she was sure you'd give in."

Spinning to stare him down, she spat, "Give in? To what? There's nothing here for me."

"Blair..." the sound was a sigh, lips leaning in towards hers and stopping inches away."Can't you see? You're only fooling yourself."

Feeling very exposed, she crossed her arms over her chest; "I have no idea what you're talking about."

His eyes drilled into hers and she felt him take her hands as he'd done the day before, "Don't you, though? It must be tiring, keeping up the charade of being interested in Marcus when you _obviously_ want me."

"You're such an egotistical ass, Chuck." No matter how hard she steeled herself for the next line, she couldn't stop her voice from softening, "Can't you accept that there is someone on this planet that _doesn't_ want to sleep with you?"

"I can," he whispered, fingers massaging circles into her palms, "but that person _isn't_ you... and no one else matters."

The words weren't lost on her; she knew weighted words that held hidden feelings she heard them. She still couldn't give in, though. They weren't the words she'd demanded and she had to stick to her original demand.

There was _no_ way she was letting him win by backing down. If she was ever going back to him again, it had to be on her terms and he knew what those were.

She couldn't state her requirement_ again_; to be let down two days in a row would be too much. Her heart was still crushed from yesterday's trampling, despite her victory-induced good mood.

When she opened her mouth to protest his assertion, he pulled her body flush with his, revealing her affect on him. Her sharp retort turned to a sighed, "Just give up, Chuck."

He mouthed along her jaw to her ear before breathing, "No." Taking the lobe between his teeth, she stifled a moan as he nibbled and sucked the skin.

How she got backed up against the hallway wall was a mystery, but he was still attached to her neck so she blamed him. "Stop," she breathed and pushed him away.

The lust in his eyes was unmistakable, as was the confusion in his tone. "Why? Give me the real reason and I'll gladly back off."

Sighing, "I can't," was all she could manage. It was too hard trying to resist him; it took too much energy and effort for her to sound convincing.

"That's..." he buried his head in her hair, "that's not a reason, Blair."

Staring at the wall across from her, feeling him so near, the words slipped through her lips easier than any denial: "Are you the only one allowed to be scared?" She leaned her head against his shoulder, giving in to the need to hold him closer as she continued, "You sent me to a foreign country. _Alone_. If anything, I have more reason to hesitate than you do." Breathing deeply, her words came out a little shaky, "All I asked for was assurance that you cared. Proof that you weren't going to push me away again. I don't think that's too much, not when I'm willing to put myself in danger of being hurt again."

"I know what you want..." his breath warmed her ear as he spoke, "I just can't give you that." Sighing, he amended, "Not yet."

That wasn't helpful at all; it held no new information, nothing justifying her confession just now. It made her a little angry, so she brought her arm up around his back, grabbed his hair, and pulled his head back to make him meet her eyes. "What does, 'not yet' mean, Chuck?!"

"Exactly what it sounds like!" He yanked his head from her grip and rubbed the back of his head with his hand, "Dammit, Blair!"

She shoved him away, "That's not the explanation that I need and you _know_ it." Why did he have to choose now to be so stubborn?

"Whatever I say won't be enough, so why should I bother?" His voice was pure ire, "It's never enough."

Placing her hands on her hips, she met his furious gaze with an irritated one of her own, "Try being honest for once; they say the truth will set you free." Honesty would be a nice change for them; they're always trying to keep up appearances, even with each other. If they're truthful about this thing between them, maybe she'll be able to finally give up this whole act.

Softly seething, he asked, "You want the truth, Blair?" His hands were clenched at his sides, like he was trying not to punch a wall.

When her answer to his question was a nod, he marched the few steps between them and grabbed her shoulders in his hands when she attempted to back away. The strength of his grip should've scared her, but there was something about the surrender now brimming in his eyes that made her feel safe. "That's what I need, Chuck," she whispered. It would be such a relief to finally know.

His touch softened, fingers tracing from her shoulders to thread themselves through her hair as he spoke, "I'm..." He took a deep breath, "I'm not sure I've hit the ground yet. I only know that I'm falling." Dark eyes waited for her reaction and she was speechless at the desperation in their depths, "Let that be enough."

There was a warmth spreading from her heart as she raised her hands to cup his cheeks. The stubble, rough on her palms, reminded her that this was real, that he was waiting for her response because he'd finally told her that he _felt_. She wasn't the only one.

Enough? Right now it felt like those were the most perfect words he could have spoken; they were _the truth_. He cared, he wanted her, he wasn't giving up...

She pulled his face down to attack his lips with her own.

* * *

_Baby, please try to forgive me. Stay here; don't put out the glow. Hold me now...  
You can save me from the man that I've become._

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**A/N:** Well, there's part one... hopefully it won't take me long to finish part two for you. Please let me know what you thought!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Okay, so here's the conclusion! I'm so sorry that it took me _sooo much longer_ than I thought it would, but I hope you all enjoy it just the same. This chapter wasn't put through a beta-reader in the interest of getting it to you without further ado. Oh, and I recommend re-reading the first part before reading this one so that you'll understand. Because it's been _that long._ :D

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass or Blair Waldorf... I just like to put words in their mouths and knock sense into their stubborn heads.

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**

The Shape of My Heart

(Part II)

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Standing in the hallway outside of his sister's room, with Blair inches away, Chuck had never been so nervous. His voice had just faded away after speaking those few words that, while cheesy, were the truth; he couldn't know if this was love yet and he wanted to be sure before he said it. As far as he could tell, all signs were pointing to yes, but he didn't want to be another person to say those words to her and not mean them. It wouldn't be fair... to either of them.

Right now he was waiting to find out if his 'I'm falling' line would be enough for Blair to forgive him. She wanted the truth, so he gave it to her.

Staring down into her blank expression, his fingers buried in the silky strands that he adored, it felt like an eternity.

It was the longest forty-five seconds of his life so far.

For a few seconds after she kissed him, he just stood there in shock. After the initial surprise, though, he returned the embrace ferociously. She accepted it, accepted _him_, and it couldn't have made him happier. Lapping at her tongue, one hand twisted in her hair trying to pull her closer than was possible, the other traveling up her leg, he had her backed up against the wall of the hallway.

About the same time that his fingers reached the fabric of her panties he realized that they were, in fact, _still_ in the middle of the hallway.

Forehead resting against Blair's, Chuck took a moment to catch his breath before pointing out, "As exciting as it is, knowing we could get caught any moment, I think it's time we..."

"Move the make-up sex to your new bedroom?" she suggested with a grin.

He pulled her into a kiss for finishing his sentence so perfectly then released his hold on her body and took her hand in his. Leading her across the hall to his bedroom door, he opened it for her and gestured for her to enter first after hitting a light switch. Once in the room, he clicked the lock behind them and turned to find her wide brown eyes watching him curiously. Stepping as close to her as possible without touching, he brushed his fingers down her cheek before leaning in to take her lips with his.

Chuck had forgotten how soft her lips were, how sweet she tasted... and how passionate she really was under the straight-laced exterior. Her hands were already untying the sash on his robe, arms working their way around his waist to hold him closer; it seemed as if neither could get the other close enough. His hands were buried in her hair again before tracing down her neck and across her shoulder to the strap of her gown. Slipping his fingers underneath the material that was just as silky as he'd imagined it would be, he shifted it to just off her shoulder and placed a kiss were the skin had been bared.

Somewhere inside him, he'd known that this would happen tonight and he was grateful for it.

It had been entirely too long since he'd held her like this.

* * *

With Chuck's mouth alternating between her neck and her shoulder it was hard to believe she'd gone this long without feeling like this. Sure, there'd been reasons why, but it was hard to think of them now.

Now that she was pushing his robe from his shoulders to the floor and unbuttoning his shirt so that it could join it.

Now that her nightgown straps had been pushed down her own shoulders leaving her chest exposed and pressed against his.

Now that he was whispering her name so reverently...

They did a kind of half dance, half walk over to the side of the bed before her gown met the carpet and she shoved the pajama pants over down over his hips, finding that he'd been naked underneath them.

It was impressive, the way he didn't have to stop kissing her to pull the covers down. His fingertips released the bed sheets and went straight for her panties, pushing them to the floor before lying down with her on the bed.

It was at this point that she had an actual coherent thought, one that she wished she could push away. The nagging in the back of her brain that screamed, 'you don't know who's been in this bed!' It was the same voice that kept telling her that it'd been so long since she'd been with a man that she would be clumsy and unsatisfying. The same part of her that told her she wasn't beautiful every time she looked into a mirror.

She must have stopped responding because he pulled away from her mouth to look at her in concern. _Concern_. He cared, remember? It didn't matter who had been before her, all that mattered was _now_.

Chuck Bass was falling in love with _her, _not any of the others that she believed were prettier or skinnier.

Reaching her hand up to brush her fingers down his chest, catching in the tiny hairs as they went, they reached his stomach before tracing around to his back to pull him down. His dark eyes, lust filled and hazy, raked over her naked body before he lowered himself down to settle between her legs. Burying his face in her hair, his chest pressed against hers again, he groaned, "You're even more beautiful than I remember."

She moaned at the feel of him against her, wondering how he knew she needed to hear those words. All the years they'd known each other, he always seemed to make some lewd, flattering comment about her appearance at times she felt most inadequate; even when she wasn't his to compliment.

It seemed inconceivable that she'd lasted through the long, cold months since the day that they'd last lain together this way. Let alone all those wasted years he could have been peppering her hair and neck with kisses, his hands caressing her thighs, just as they were now…

If she'd hadn't been blinded by Fairy Tale dreams, she could have always known the pleasure of their flesh pressed together from mouths to feet, their most intimate of places separated by nothing but air…

Lying here with him, completely naked, exposed, _vulnerable_, she felt anything but insecure.

She could have _always_ known the completion she felt in his arms.

The kisses he was leaving on her neck, his hands caressing her hips, the hardness pressing against the apex of her thighs… it all made her feel cherished and desirable.

With Chuck, she finally knew how it felt to be worthy of being loved instead of not being good enough.

Her hands were threaded through his hair as his mouth made the trip downward; she tried to let him take his own course, even though there were several places she wanted that hot, wet, tongue to touch so badly. Just before he took the tip of one of her breasts between his lips, his head sprang back up and buried itself into the hair covering the pillow over her shoulder.

She heard him mumble something like, "Damn, I'm gonna regret this" before he pulled away to look into her eyes in the dim light.

Smoothing the hair from her face with his hand, he heaved a deep sigh before asking, "What about Marcus?"

At first she was speechless; with Chuck-sex so close, Marcus was the furthest thing from her mind. Then again, that was really the case with _any_ type of sex.

He must have taken her shocked silence as an admission of some sort because he continued in a tenser tone, "How do I know you're not going to run back to him in the morning?"

She could see the hurt on his face, plain as day; he was afraid of losing her to some _random_ she'd picked up to make _him_ jealous. Sure, she'd acted as if the lord of whatever actually meant something to her, that she wanted to be with him, but it'd been more of a cross between adoration over his title and a _very_ horny Blair.

Her heart swelled for him just then, because she knew that she wouldn't have been able to stop and ask such a serious question in their current position if it had been the other way around.

This was important to him for him to know just like his feelings were important for her to hear; she didn't hesitate in letting him know just where he stood.

After all, they were only in this very pleasurable position because he'd obliged her with the same information.

Her hands wound their way around his neck, twirling her finger in the hair at the nape of his neck as she looked up into his eyes, taking great care _not _to break eye-contact with him as she spoke: "I'm not going anywhere, Chuck. I'm right where I _want_ to be." She smiled shyly, "With _you._"

"We've been in this situation before, Blair; how do I know you'll still _want_ to be here tomorrow?" He asked, unconvinced before adding, "I guess you could say I'm once bitten, twice shy."

"A simple text message is letting him down easy enough, don't you think? I'll send it in the morning…" she smirked, "Or now, if you wish." Fingers smoothing soft circles over his chest, she tried to smile up at him and choose her words very carefully, "Let's hit the ground _together_, Bass."

He stared wide-eyed in wonder, gazing into her eyes - seemingly deep in enough to see into her soul - before capturing her mouth with his for a tender kiss.

Pulling away, he smirked and spoke a velvety tone, "As soon as I saw you in that strategically placed nightgown, I knew I'd be taking it off of you tonight."

When his voice ran low and gravelly towards the end of his sentence, a shiver ran through her as she challenged, "Then what the hell are you waiting for, Bass?" She traced his collarbone with impatient fingertips, "I've never known you dawdle after getting me naked."

His hand reached down and grabbed her bottom, pulling her roughly against him, causing her to groan at the friction between her thighs. He whispered, "Oh, we're taking our time our time tonight, Blair. It's been entirely too long since I've been able to get my fill of you."

His mouth crushed hers, their bodies writhing together, and she knew that it wouldn't matter if it took all night. In fact, she might prefer if it did.

When he did finally bury his length deep into the part of her that was aching for him, it was an amazing feeling knowing there was meaning behind it all.

Every touch, every kiss, every thrust of their hips held more emotion then it ever did or could have before.

The difference between having sex with the infamous Chuck Bass and having him _making love_ to you was this…

Finally seeing the heart behind it all.

* * *

_Looking back on the things I've done, I've been trying to be someone, play my part, _

_I kept you in the dark… now let me show you the shape of my heart.

* * *

_

**A/N:** Well, that's all she… erm, I mean, I wrote! I hope you enjoyed the conclusion, even if it was shorter than the first half and long overdue. Please let me know what you thought!


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